O Campu O Moru – To Live or Die

Caru cumpari, v’haiu a cunfissari,
chi a nun aviri denti su duluri,
cosa chi assira ebbi a custatari
in casa di don Vitu lu dutturi.

Prisenti don Luigi l’avvucatu,
lu sinnacu e don Saru lu ‘ncigneri,
e pi finiri, si nun vaiu erratu,
li rispittivi nobili muggheri.

A un certu puntu di la siritina,
la criata passau cu la ‘nguantera,
pi accittari pigghiai ‘na muscardina,
ca ‘mmucca mi pareva di lamera.

La misi annunca a bagnu di sputazza,
cu rispettu parrannu, ‘na mezz’ura,
pi smuddicarla ci vulia la mazza,
sennu ca di ‘na  ciaca era cchiu’ dura!

Parrari nun putia, sorti mancina,
tant’ e’ facia lu versu di la cucca,
pi causanza di dda muscardina
chi avevu ancora ‘ntimpagnata ‘mmucca.

Ma ‘ssennu poi dda gran signuria,
mi cuminciaau a rivolgiri dumanni,
pinsai ch’era chiuttostu scurtisia,
ristari mutu cornu un barbagianni.

Dissi fra mia e mia, o campu o moru,
‘sta muscardina mi l’ agghiuttu sana,
mi misi ad ammuttalla soru soru,
si nni calo`, gran figghia di buttana.

My dear friend, I have to confess,
being toothless is a great pain,
which last night I had to experience
at doctor Don Vito’s residence.

Present even the lawyer Don Luigi,
the mayor and Don Saro the engineer,
and even, if I am not mistaken,
the respective, noble better halves.

At a certain point during the night,
the maid came around with the tray,
not to be rude a hard cookie I took,
that in my mouth felt like a piece of tin.

I put it then in a saliva bath,
forgive my jargon, for half an hour,
to crumble it I will need a hammer,
because it was harder than a stone.

I couldn’t talk, damned my luck,
so of the howl I made the sound,
because of that hardest cookie,
that was steadily wedged in my mouth.

But when the good and gracious host,
started to address me with some questions,
I thought to be, at least, of me too rude,
not to answer and like a blockhead to look.

I thought within myself: I live or die,
this hard cookie I’ll swallow whole,
so little by little started to push,
and down it went the big son-of…a mole.